Blue Eyed Girl
by KizzoftheDead
Summary: A take on the past of a serial killer, BB, and his breif romance with the first of L's successors, A.
1. The Snow Covered Dead Tree

As I looked at the girl, she turned to face me, a very faint smile on her face. Her eyes were a sharp blue, and her hair was solid black. I would say she was beautiful- but she wasn't. I studied her face a bit closer. Her face was oval, with slightly thin lips, and almond shaped eyes. Her smile was gentle and loving, and the ice in her eyes seemed to melt when she looked at me. I could already see her name and death date, but I ignored them both, quite used to blocking them out as best I could. She was very pale, like someone who didn't go out into the sun often, and the blush that should've been on her cheeks was non-existent. She looked down, obviously shy, and put her right hand in front of her mouth, as if she was trying to hide herself. Her hair flowed over her shoulders like wisps of black smoke, and it almost acted as a small curtain that covered part of her face whenever she moved.

I blurted out like the foolish and curious child I was:

"What 'cha looking down for?"

She looked back up now, laughing softly. Her eyes sparkled a bit, like I was amusing to her. She still didn't say a word. I frowned slightly, walking up to her a hesitantly. It annoyed me that this average girl, with her blue eyes, would ignore me in such a way. She was sitting on a small bench underneath a snow-covered dead tree, and was wearing nothing but a long sleeved black shirt and some very loose fitting black pants. This didn't strike me as odd, seeing as all I wore was a long sleeved white shirt and blue jeans, just as L did every day. I still didn't look at her name or death-date. I sat down next to her, drawing my legs to my chest and letting my hands rest on my knees- another trait I had copied from L.

"You're a weird girl. Why sit out here all alone?"

She looked at him, a curious fire burning away the ever-present ice in her eyes. She finally spoke.

"Well if I'm a weird girl then you're a weird boy. You're out here all alone too."

Her voice was like air, not strong and demanding, but cautious and alien in a place filled with so many out-going children. It struck me quite differently than I expected, I was not annoyed or angry, just more curious. This strange girl had spoken, and I wanted to hear her voice more. I smirked, the cleverness almost silencing me. She turned away from me and looked at the sky. More snow was starting to fall, only a flake every so often. Children ran around on the play-area that was a couple hundred yards away, blocked off by hedges and trees. I wondered again. Why was this girl out here away from all the others, just like myself?

"What's your name weird girl?"

She jumped slightly at the sound, her concentration broken. Once again she turned to look at me.

"They call me Alina, or A for short."

I looked at the name floating above her head. It matched exactly. She had created no effort to conceal it as the other children did, but said it freely in that air-like voice of hers. Again I ignored her death date.

"Well don't you want to know my name?" I looked at her a little cockily; happy to have found someone I could put myself above.

"I would've asked if I did, but if you feel that you must, I wouldn't mind hearing it." Once again her eyes twinkled a bit, the sharp cleverness of her tongue still causing no reaction to come to me.

"Beyond. Beyond Birthday."

I could tell by her very slight expression that she was connecting two things together.

"So you're B."

When she said it, her tone almost implied that she had heard of me before. And here again, curiosity burst forth out of me. I waited a few more minutes for an explanation, but there was nothing of the sort that had planned to pass from her lips. It was almost as if she was creating different choices for herself, leaving me more than one question to ask and more than one for her to answer. Her smile had by now faded away, and her hand had come to rest on her lap, rather than cover her mouth.

"You know of me?"

She didn't move, but sat there- still and pale as a ghost. The only thing that did move was her lips.

"Not exactly."

Once again she had left more than once choice for me to make. She did not explain, but sat there. I suppose she figured that she had answered my question, and there was no need to continue with information that was not asked for. I pressed no farther, and she said nothing else.

"Why are you alone?"

This time she didn't jump- and a pensive look found its way over her features.

"That's a difficult question to answer, because there are multiple ways for me to reply. It would be useless information to you in any of the situations."

She seemed satisfied with what she had said, and her face became peaceful. A slight breeze jostled the smaller branches of the tree above us.

I found myself determined to hear what she had to say for herself, and I pressed.

"Useless or not, I want to know. Care to explain?"

She stood up quietly as the church bell connected to the main building started to sound. She ignored my previous question, and started to walk away toward the front entrance of the building she had apparently come from.

"Alina?"

She turned back with another faint smile. I stood there silently, and finally bothered to look at her death date. In two short years she was set to die.

On that winter day, under the cover of a dead tree, I met A.


	2. Diamond Moonlight

For the next few weeks, every day I would come to the same spot that I had met her in, and every day I found it the same. She was never there, and no matter what I did I couldn't find her. I asked the other children about her, and they always said the same thing.

"She's weird, why would you care?"

I actually thought this myself a few times. Why did I want to see her again? The few things we had said to each other were anything but friendly. In fact, what we had said couldn't really even be considered a conversation. Yet, every day, I would go out to the same spot, and sit on that same bench until the church bell rang a final time. After a few weeks, I began to come every other day, then once a week, and finally, I just didn't go. However, fate loved to play with me, and I did see her again.

Roger had interrupted our daily teachings to come get me, and as he led me down the hall I began to wonder if I was in some kind of trouble. His wrinkled hand rested on my shoulder, and he led me to a large room, in front of a great wooden desk. The man that sat there was who L had called "Watari." He looked at me over his round glasses, and motioned for me to sit on one of the small chairs that had obviously been set out for this occasion. I did as I was told, but sat in my usual way, as I had seen L do it. After a few moments of silence, the door behind me opened, and in walked Roger, with his great wrinkled hand on Alina's shoulder. She was not wearing the black pants and shirt I had seen her wear the day I had first met her, but a plain white dress, which reached down to below her knees. She didn't even glance my way, but seemed to be fixated on Watari. She was seated next to me, and I jumped when Watari finally spoke.

"A, It's good to meet you."

She didn't even attempt to reply, but sat there, her unblinking eyes completely emotionless. Watari frowned a little, and Roger nudged her shoulder a bit, reprimanding her for not replying to her elder. Watari now turned to face me.

"Beyond Birthday. It's good to meet you again. L has been speaking of you fondly. He wishes to see you again soon."

I nodded a little, still not quite sure what to think of the situation I was in. Why would she be here? If L wanted to see me, why bring her? He looked between the both of us, and nodded at Roger, who left the room.

"I suppose both of you are wondering why you're here. Pardon me if this all scared you. However, all of this needs to be as official as possible."

I looked to Alina again, who now had brought her hand up before her mouth, the same way she had the day I met her.

"You see, you both have been chosen above all the others in Whammy's House, as possible successors to L's name. Of course, this is not L's decision quite yet, as he is only a child, as both of you are."

I looked surprised, I'm quite sure of that. I had never dreamt of inheriting L's name in the future, as I always saw him as above my level of intelligence, much more so. Yet here was his caretaker, telling me that I was chosen above all others to take his name. Alina still had no expression on her face. As I looked at her, I realized how doll-like she was. I could find no words, so Watari continued.

"So, within all of this you must be tested. The pressure on both of you will be quite tremendous, but Roger and I both think that you will be able to rise up above it. However, both of you cannot inherit this name, so you will forced to compete against each other."

For some reason this disturbed me. I didn't like the idea of going up against her, no matter how necessary it was. I tensed a little in my chair, but stayed silent.

"From today on, you will not be going to regular classes. Roger will come get you every morning and you will be brought to this room for testing. Nobody is to know of this. Do you both understand?"

I nodded, suddenly feeling quite sick. I didn't understand why this had to be a challenge in the least, especially against her. Couldn't they have just chosen? Alina once again made no reply. Roger came back into the room, and took me to my own classroom, where the hungry eyes of curious children bored into the back of my head.

That night I refused to sleep, and managed to sneak out of my room unnoticed. The snow outside fell silently on the pavement, like a ghost on winter's night, and I shivered at the temperature of the wooden floors on my bare feet. As I snuck through the halls, a small movement in a different corridor caught my attention. All I managed to see was a glimpse of black hair. I turned and followed, until I came to a large window, and there stood A, staring at the moon with her icy blue eyes.

"It makes me sick to think of competing against each other." I murmured. She didn't turn, but continued staring. It was like she knew I had been following.

"Then why didn't you say something?"

Her airy voice sent a slight chill up my spine. It was like a long lost memory that left a sweet taste in my mouth. I walked up next to her, taking in the view of the window. Outside there was the small garden where we had met and the other children would play during the day, all covered in a white blanket of snow. She had that same peaceful look that I remembered so well on her face. I sighed, finally processing the question.

"I don't know. I guess I was…. I don't know."

A thoughtful look spread over her face, and she turned to me, her black hair moving about like it was dancing with the moonlight. I met her eyes with my own, refusing to look at the death date floating above her head.

"Are you afraid?" She murmured.

I didn't understand the question, even though it was so simple. It was like I was in a trance when I looked into her eyes. The sea of blue seemed to wrap around me, and I was at peace myself. It was as if she understood.

"I am too."

She finally broke the gaze and turned back toward the window, and I did the same. Snow had started to fall again, and the flakes seemed like small diamonds falling around the moon. She took my hand in hers, light and sweet, and from that moment I realized that this girl, no matter how strange, meant something to me.

It was the first time my heart beat for someone else.


	3. Protecting Me

The first day of testing was brutal, as it took much longer for us to finish than the other children in their regular courses. However, I was happy as long as I was beside Alina, and she never said otherwise. The night of the first day, she and I once again met at the large window that overlooked the garden where we had met. Tonight she sat in front of it, looking at the moon with a melancholic expression. When she heard me step up she said with a child-like demeanor:

"BB?"

I had never before this day been called BB, only B or Beyond, and even less than that Beyond Birthday. She curled up a little, taking the large curtain that surrounded the window in her small hand and draping it over her shoulders like a blanket. I sat down beside her, crouching as I always did, and as L always did as well. Her eyes were dull, like I had never them look before. I realized that the expression she had on her face was not only melancholic, but quizzical.

"What's wrong?" I murmured quietly.

She turned to me a little, her mouth forming a faint smile. Her eyes twinkled a little now. She edged closer to me, until the sides of our hips and shoulders touched, and let her head rest on my shoulder. I blushed a little as she did so, but I suppose she either did not notice or did not care, for she said nothing about it. The moonlight streamed through the windows, and acted almost as a small spotlight on both she and I. She said nothing and did not attempt to reply to my question, but this did not surprise me. I was quite used to her strange thinking, and her strange actions, despite only having met her four times within my lifespan.

She wrapped her arms around her knees, seemingly comfortable. I smiled a little myself; I did not dislike the feeling of her next to me, as it was comforting and warm. However, her death date loomed above her head, dark and sinister, and it unsettled me. I suppose she noticed my looking over her head, and turned to look in the same direction that I was.

"Is there someone there?" She now turned and looked up at me, a child-like expression on her face.

I shook my head, turning back to the moon rather than looking at her face. Amongst the snow-flakes the moonlight twirled, as if it was lighting every single flake to put on a show. She obviously forgot about the question, as she didn't press. Once again she let her head come to rest on my shoulder. I shivered slightly, and she took the curtain that she had draped around herself and moved it, so that it now rested on both of us. She took my hand in hers, and my mind drifted off.

* * *

><p>That day, after testing, Alina and I had been allowed to play with the other children. They rebuked her, calling her strange, and she said nothing to them. She sat in a small corner to the right of the large square room, and I stood in the small doorway not knowing quite what to do. I was popular amongst them, as I had once met L, and they always had questions to ask me. Today they all gathered around me, asking where I had been and if I had met L once again. She looked from the corner in silent interest, her eyes sparkling slightly when she saw the children tug at my sleeve and beg for answers. She laughed a little, as I had seen her do once before, and the children all followed my gaze to her.<p>

"B!" They had called, "B, why are you staring at the weird girl?"

When she heard this she immediately had looked down, and anger burst forth from myself. These children, who knew nothing of her, calling her weird had struck some spot in my heart, and when it all ended there was the one I had heard yell it the loudest, crying on the floor. Roger had walked in, a vehement look of annoyance on his face. When asked who had done it, they all pointed to me. He glowered slightly, almost as if deciding whether he should box my ears or take me to the corner and leave me there. I cringed a little, and Alina walked up and whispered something in Roger's ear, as if telling him a secret. He looked at her strangely, then nodded and left the room, leaving the child crying on the floor and not reprimanding me at all. After this she walked over to her humble corner and sat down, a faint smile curving the corners of her pale lips.

* * *

><p>I brought myself out of the memory, and looked down at Alina, who was fast asleep on my shoulder. Her mouth was curved into a slight o-shape, and her eyebrows were up farther than whenever she was awake. She looked happy, so once again I drifted off into thought, now not of memories, but of A herself.<p>

I thought of her death-date, frowning. I had never been one to be disturbed by the fate of another, but this one stuck out to me in a difficult way. Why would someone as careful and sweet as she die so early? It hardly seemed fair. She sighed in her sleep, breaking my concentration. I looked down at her hand, which was still holding on to mine, though very lightly. Why was she set to die? I wondered all of this to myself, my lips slowly forming a scowl. Outside the wind blew slightly, making the gate to the garden creak a small amount. She moved, but did not wake, and I gave a slight sigh of relief. I enjoyed having her beside me, as strange as it was. I looked down at her, studying her as I had the first time I met her. She was not scrawny, but there was a fragile look to her. Perhaps it was the paleness of her complexion that likened her to a doll in my eyes, but when I saw her, I saw a living doll. Her black hair was still curtain-like to me, even though she was not acting shy or nervous, and it was long, reaching down to the floor and spreading out a bit. This time the gate creaked loud enough to wake her, and she did, blinking her eyes once or twice. She did not, however, move away from me.

"BB?" She asked again, but this time she asked it as if she were afraid she had woken up without me there.

"I'm still here..." I murmured quietly, as not to startle her.

She blinked again a few times, squeezing my hand gently as if to make sure I was really there. I smiled faintly at her effort.

"I have a question for you."

She looked up at me again, her eyes like a gentle ocean.

"What did you tell Roger today?"

She curled up a bit more next to me, re-setting her head on my shoulder. The curtain fell away when she moved, and I pulled it back around us a bit tighter. For a moment I thought she wasn't going to answer, but she finally satisfied my curiosity with a reply.

"I told him that you were protecting me."

A surprised feeling passed through me, but it faded into the warmth that surrounded us both. She closed her eyes again, a serene expression overflowing from her features.

That night, under cover of a curtain, and beneath a blissfully bright moon, Alina slept next to me.


	4. Angel in the Moonlight

As the snow fell, so did the small barriers that stood between us. Yet, with every day her death-date became more prominent, and every time I saw her my heart would crack a little. She was, as always, calm about everything, and still was performing the best. Watari generally gave her more praise than I, and a smile was no random gesture given to her. Still, this didn't bother me. L's name had lost its value in my eyes. All I saw when I was working was her face. All I wanted to feel was her hand in mine. Nothing else mattered.

The night was no different than any other. We sat underneath the window, the curtain once again wrapped around us like a blanket.

"BB?" She murmured.

" Hmm…?" I didn't look down to her, quite used to her bringing up small questions in this way. There was silence, and I almost didn't expect to hear anything else. Outside the window, branches from a large tree shifted slightly in the wind. It gave me a chill up my spine, and I shivered, but she still sat there, motionless. The fingers of her left hand were intertwined with mine on the right, and her head lay on my shoulder.

"Merry Christmas."

I shifted slightly, a little shocked. The time had gone by so quickly. Was it already her last Christmas? I gulped quietly and looked at her death date. It was closer yet again, and it scared me as I had never been scared before. Had I really let time get so far from my mind?

I looked down at her, and suddenly I was overcome by an emotion I had only when I looked into her eyes. The moonlight twirled around us, like a small symphony of black and white. It curled with the darkness of the house, and played with the small amount of dust that was flowing through the air. It seemed to bring both of us together.

Very slowly, hesitantly, I leaned forward, cocking my head to the side ever so slightly. There was a small intake of breath; a very quiet gasp. She didn't move, but tensed up a little, staring forward. Very slowly she closed her eyes. I brought my face closer to hers, until our lips were mere millimeters apart, and closed my own.

Our lips touched, soft and gentle, almost like a breath of air. It wasn't passionate, it wasn't fierce, it just was what it was, a kiss between two children. My heart pounded quickly, and it was as if I could feel hers doing the same. For that split second, it was as if it was only she and I in the world, connected by our hearts. I suppose I realized it then, that I loved her. Perhaps I didn't understand it fully, but I understood that this girl meant more to me than life itself. When our lips parted, we sat there a moment, staring at each other.

Her eyes sparkled from exhilaration and curiosity, her hair shone in the dimness of the moonlight, and her lips were pink from the warmth of mine. She let her hand reach up and trail across them.

I kept staring into the blue ocean of her eyes until she spoke.

"BB, what does it mean?"

Her voice was like an airy whisper, and she reached over and touched my lips, her fingers cold and light. I kissed them as well, not uttering a single syllable. Perhaps it was because I didn't understand it myself. What had I done?

She looked at me curiously, then leaned forward and pressed her lips to mine again. The second kiss was not like the first- we we're both more sure of ourselves, and it made it less awkward and alien. This time our lips moved together a little, and she broke it with a fire in her icy eyes. She was searching for answers, trying to figure the emotions that were going through both of us out. I wrapped my arms around her lightly, holding her against me.

"Your heart is beating so fast BB…" She trailed off.

The simplicity of the statement was not surprising. She was willing all of the facts forward, building up a map in her head of the new emotion. She took my hand and put it to her heart. I felt hers beating in the same way. The curtain had long since fallen away from us, yet we were warm beside each other.

"So is yours." I murmured quietly.

She nodded slightly, and I held her a bit tighter. The confusion and curiosity was still burning away at both of us. What had we done?

I looked at the whimsical twirls of dust in the air. Slowly I pieced everything together.

"Alina, I love you."

The words coming out of my mouth sounded strange, yet I knew it was what I felt. I loved this girl, strange and average, beautiful yet plain. I had only heard the words said in books, the princes and princesses in fairytales, saying it in times like these. She leaned her head lightly against my chest before replying:

"I love you too."

It was foolish, perhaps, to say this. We didn't know what they meant. We didn't know what any of this meant. I kissed the top of her head, still in shock and wonder. A cloud covered the moon, and we were in momentary darkness. The flowing dust clouds were gone, and the snow fell in torrents outside the window.

"I'm tired BB…"

I nodded a little, pulling her closer and slowly leaning back until we were both lying on the floor. She took one of her hands and put it on my heart again. It started to beat faster to the touch. She left it there, getting comfortable by lying her head in the crook of my arm. The moon came out again, and I got a glimpse of her before another cloud passed over.

Her hair was spread out along the ground and over her shoulder, and she had curled her body up against mine. She had a faint smile on her lips, and her eyes still sparkled. I thought to myself that it was impossible, perhaps improbable that this girl was human. She couldn't be.

No, I was sure of it. This girl wasn't human- she was an angel.


	5. Here Now

I walked into the room quietly, searching for Alina yet again. I expected to find nothing, as I had the last few times, but my heart skipped a beat as I saw the scene in front of me.

There stood a young child, holding Alina against the wall with his fist raised. His hair was blonde and reached to right above his shoulders, and his bangs were cut straight across, covering his forehead. He wore a long sleeved black shirt and baggy black pants, much like what Alina had been wearing the first time I met her. It wasn't until later that I noticed the red-head behind him, wearing a striped shirt and goggles on his head. I was surprised to realize that the boy was one of my earlier "fans." He had been one of the more eager ones that loved to ask questions.

"What the hell are you doing!"

The words came out of my mouth like a hiss, the tone more like a lion roaring. The blonde wheeled around, shocked, and the red-head did the same, his goggles falling from the top of his head down to his eyes. It was obvious they were much too big for him. The blonde let her go with an angry look on his face, but backed away sheepishly when I stepped forward and took her into my arms.

"B? You're protecting her now?"

He practically spat the words at me, as if I were protecting some sickening creature. I said nothing, but ignored him and brushed the hair out of Alina's eyes.

"Are you alright?" I murmured only loud enough for her to hear.

She nodded. Her eyes were completely emotionless, not unlike the way she acted when she worked. It was obvious she had blocked out everything when he was beating on her. Once again I turned to the child, and he backed away when he saw my expression.

"She's the weird one you know!" He snarled. Obviously afraid, he grabbed the other kid by the arm and dragged him off, mumbling curse words to himself.

"BB, I was okay…"

Her voice was quiet, and I looked down at her. She wrapped her arms around my waist and let her head rest on my chest, much like a child. I looked above her head at the death-date, relieved to see that it was no closer due to the beating. I pressed my lips to her head lightly.

"How long have they been…?" I trailed off, not wanting to upset her, although it was probably impossible to do so.

"A while."

She said it like it was a completely normal thing, as if it was inevitable that they beat her. I frowned but said nothing more on the subject.

I finally took a look around the room. It was large and rectangular, with two doors leading to two different parts of the orphanage. On the right hand side, there was a window with a small seating area built into the wall. On it sat a few books, and around it there were a few scattered here and there on the floor. I guessed she had been reading when they came in. All around the other parts of the room there were toys. Some of them had small pieces missing, and others looked brand new. However, there was nobody else around.

She still didn't let me go, so finally I sat down slowly, making sure that she was able to as well. I looked outside the window. It had started to snow again.

I silently started to go through things in my head. Why did everyone call her so strange? I looked down at her again as she moved her head up to my shoulder and burrowed her face into my neck. I blushed slightly, as I always did when she was this close to me. I wrapped my arms around her and went back to my thoughts, but was interrupted all too soon.

"BB, why do you always look above my head?"

Her voice was just barely a whisper, and her tone was nonchalant. I stiffened just slightly, and this was enough to make her ask again.

"Why?"

I frowned a little and held her a bit tighter. She didn't press anymore, but I couldn't help but feel as if she were waiting.

"I…" I searched through my mind rapidly, trying to decide whether I should make something up or tell her the truth. What would she think if she knew I had these strange eyes? My heart pounded in my chest, and in a sudden fit of courage I said what I had never told another.

"I can see your death-date."

She didn't react. There was no sharp intake of breath, no scream, and no stiffness. She just murmured:

"Only mine?"

I was surprised at this question. I had expected thousands of others, but this? I knew that now there was no turning back, no saying it was just some kind of joke.

"No, I can see everyone's, excluding my own."

Again, no reaction. I sat there, barely breathing for the nervousness.

"So it's soon then?"

I couldn't help but wonder how she could ask that question.

She finally looked up at me, a curious look on her face. She noticed how pale I was, and reached up, touching my face lightly and letting her hand rest on my cheek.

Her eyes were like a mirror. I looked horrified, despite her calm attitude. The icy blue began to freeze me, holding me in the gaze which she refused to break.

"Yes." I finally managed to choke out.

She nodded, a somber look creeping across her face. This successfully broke the gaze, but she recovered quickly, a slight twinkle somehow finding its way back into her eyes. She saw my sadness, and let her hand fall and grab my own. She squeezed it comfortingly.

"I'm not afraid."

I forced myself to look at her, and a slight peace found its way into my heart. I had just handed this girl a death sentence, yet she was strong enough to say she wasn't afraid. A faint smile found its way to her lips, and she leaned forward and kissed mine. Almost immediately, all of my emotions were gone. It was as if she spoke to me.

In my mind I heard:

Beware the pain that will destroy you in the time to come.

Yet in my heart, I heard my only happiness.

She is here now.


	6. Her Soul

**Well hello there! It's been quite a while since I've wrote for this fanfic (or any; I've been veryyyy busy!) but I'd just like to say that I'm back and planning to write more chapters! Please read and review!  
>P.S.- This chapter is dedicated to my first reviewer for this story (is reviewer a word? Ah well), BleuHouse! Thank you so much! Hope you love it!<strong>

* * *

><p>Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and all of them seemed like seconds while she was next to me. Before I thought that perhaps our schooling would get no harder, but it did, and it happened quite quickly. I found myself breaking down quite often now- mentally at least- but not once did I cry. Alina was the same.<p>

The cold snow-covered ground didn't faze me today- just as it hadn't the first day I met her at this very bench. By now we were open about our being together- and I found myself with fewer fans than I had before- though it didn't bother me. She was mine, and that was all that mattered.

"BB…" She trailed off as I looked down at her. Our hands were linked carefully, and her voice was soft as ever. I nudged her lightly, smiling at her. We had become much less shy around each other now. Soft smiles were no rare thing.

However, this time she gave me no smile back.

"I don't like it here anymore BB."

I didn't understand, and really, I didn't think she understood either. I looked up at the sky quietly, contemplating what exactly she meant. There were no snowflakes drifting downward today, just a steel gray sky.

"What do you mean..?" It was my turn to trail off- a sudden spasm of fear went through my heart.

"You know."

Her words were soft but they made my heart skip. They sounded like a roar. I said nothing- I understood well enough. I had felt this way many times before- especially lately, with our lessons becoming harder. The fear grew more, but I brushed it off as best I could.

"I don't either." I murmured. I saw a snowflake hit the ground just as she touched my face gently. I was almost afraid to look at her now; her death-date had become so prominent to me I couldn't dismiss it. She had only a few months left. Her last Christmas had already gone by- it was now mid-January, and my love had only grown. However, I did look down at her, seeing that date flash before my eyes before I met hers. The ice melted, as it always did, and I pecked her lips softly, just once.

She hadn't mentioned my eyes since the day I told her- the day I handed her a death sentence, but there was a strange recognition now- that icy blue conveyed a sense of dense sorrow every once in a while, and I could tell that every touch- every small chaste kiss, had become some special memory for her.

I could tell that in her mind these small moments were a comfort, but for me, it was torture- it was a physical pain now, the thought of her gone; this beautiful girl being absent from the world had become more unfair than before- the loss of her touch would only make my existence meaningless. I no longer wanted L's name- I wanted her to live.

I examined her face for a moment- her black hair was still just as long, and it shone the way it did before, her eyes were the same, and her lips were still warm. But though this was all the same, I could see the differences. She had become thinner- very much so- and she had dark circles underneath those perfect eyes. Her movements were slower, her skin perhaps more pale.

"You look so tired…" She murmured softly.

"You do too." My voice was sad, quiet. I tucked her hair behind her ear, and she buried her face into my chest, just like she always.

And then I heard her whimper.

I had never seen her cry- I'd hardly seen her show any emotion except for a faint smile or soft laugh.

"D-don't cry!" My words came out louder than I thought, more pained. I drew her into my arms so tightly I began to wonder if she could breathe okay, but she looked up at me and gave a small, light, hiccupping sob.

"I don't want to do this anymore BB! I don't want to succeed him! I don't want to be so tired anymore!"

Her voice came out with a tremble, her body shook, and I think this was the loudest I had ever heard her speak- was this her screaming?

A few more tears fell and I just held her closer, murmuring variations of the same thing over and over.

"It'll be okay, we'll make it through. We'll be alright, we'll make it…."

She shook her head, but said nothing else, and I didn't bother either. She just cried- and I just held her.

After a while she brought herself away and stood. I followed suit but before I walked after her she stopped, speaking over her shoulder to me, voice quiet and numb. I had never seen her eyes so cold; it was different than ice. The gray of the sky reflected in her eyes, and the blue became almost grey. I stopped, my eyes widening a little- the look she gave me sent another spasm of fear, much like the one I felt earlier. I saw her death-date again.

"Just… let me be alone." She murmured quietly. And then she walked away.

Then the snow began to fall again.

* * *

><p>For the next few days I saw nothing of her. She didn't even come to her lessons, and I worked alone under the cold stare of Watari.<p>

The fourth day, I found her underneath the window. I sat down next to her quietly, but didn't reach for her hand or say a word. The moon was not covered by clouds tonight; the clouds had cleared away, leaving a blanket of snow on everything.

The silence grew, but she took my hand, successfully making me look over at her. Her eyes met mine immediately, and she kissed me.

It was unexpected, but I didn't deny the touch, and kissed her back for the few seconds she allowed me to- and then she pulled away. The ever present ice was back again- she was no longer the grey-eyed girl I had seen that day in the cold- these eyes were a brilliant blue.

"It'll be okay." She murmured. Her voice was soft and loving, like the day I first met her- her eyes sparkled.

My heart took a skip- one I hadn't felt in what seemed like ages. For the first time in a long time I had no thought of her death-date, I didn't feel that my time with her was moving and becoming shorter.

This was my Alina- this beautiful girl that feared nothing- not even death. And this- these perfect feelings that radiated from her very being, from deep inside her-

This was her soul.


	7. See What I Do

Mid-January turned into February all too soon- and it did not take me long to understand that this was the last month of her life, and I was determined to make it perfect. I protected her from every sadness- or at least tried to, quite simply. But nobody can protect someone from everything.

There was only one thing that I couldn't control- couldn't keep away from her. The race for L's name.

The day was soft, not as cold as the day before, and more damp. The snow was slightly melted outside, but it was still falling relentlessly. I was surprised that every day the paths outside of Whammy's house were always clear in the mornings and the paths from building to building were as well.

I was walking alone through the hallways- they had kept A behind (much to my disappointment and fear) for more work.

When I reached the common room, there were a few children around and about, who took one look at me and began to whisper heatedly to each other. I heard faint murmurs of A and I being together, and the strangeness of her mannerisms, and other things that meant nothing to me.

Because they didn't understand. They didn't understand how little time she had left. That every moment they spoke about her they took away a joyful moment.

She was _strange, _but in a way that wasn't terrifying. She was strange because no matter how anybody treated her- no matter how the beat her and jeered at her- she loved them all.

I came to this realization not long after I realized that I cared for her. She loved every creature, she tried her best to be gentle and she never, under any circumstance, thought of hurting them back. And I knew that they hurt her. I had often seen her eyes dull to the sound of a child's voice picking at her- much like the time I saw the blonde boy with his fist raised, about to strike her.

Ah yes, the blonde boy.

Mello.

I frowned as I thought of his name, and the children shrank back. It took me a moment to realize that I had escaped into my thoughts staring at them. I turned away for a moment, then looked back- all the floating names and death-dates, how simple they had become to me. I hardly paid any attention to any of them. But I did pay attention to a certain few.

Which brings me back to him. His death.

I often mused at the thought that death dates could change, though I never saw them do so, and contemplated many times that if I- for example- ever chose to murder someone, that I could easily defy death. I wondered if, perhaps, the date would change if I made the decision to take someone's life. But they were childish thoughts, and I really didn't think anything of them. But I remembered his death date well, and thought more than once that I'd enjoy changing his.

January the twenty sixth, of the year two-thousand and ten.

That date was as burned into my mind as Alina's was. Because that was the day that the boy who would willingly take a young, defenseless, gentle girl and beat her until she blocked it out would die.

I hated him. With a burning vengeance, I hated Mihael Keehl.

I found myself at the end of a hallway, staring out a window at the snow covered earth with a glowering face. But this disturbed me, when I realized that my thoughts had become so tainted and black with the thought of pain towards him. Towards anybody who would touch her. I reconciled with myself and recoiled from all these thoughts.

They then drifted to Alina.

It was interesting to me how easily my mind could go from hate to care, and vengeance to carefulness, especially when it had to do with her. I put my forehead against the window, feeling the coldness of the glass against my skin and giving an involuntary shiver. I heard noise behind me and turned, coming face to face with the red-haired boy I had seen with Mello that day. I looked up at his name, not enough to where he would notice- I had trained myself to do this ever since the day I told Alina about my eyes.

Mail Jeevas.

January the twenty-sixth, of the year two thousand and ten.

I recoiled slightly, much to his surprise. The date took me by the heart with a vice grip- and I couldn't help but wonder if it was strange coincidence or his death was somehow connected to Mello's.

He jumped so hard he fell backward, landing on his butt with a loud thump, the goggles finally tumbling over his eyes, covering them with orange.

"S-sorry! P-please don't hurt me!"

His voice came out hoarse but very child-like. He was definitely much younger than I was. I softened my features as best I could- I had no reason to hate him, though I wasn't much for anybody that was a friend of Mello's. I turned to walk away.

"Wait!"

His voice didn't shake this time, and I stopped. He pulled his goggles back up, putting them on top of his head again. I frowned.

"What do you want?"

My voice came out deeper and more cynical than I meant it to; he took one step back. I couldn't help but smile to myself. He hesitated a moment longer before murmuring something I couldn't comprehend.

"What?"

"I just…" He trailed off a moment, and then sighed. "I'm sorry. For how he treats her."

I raised an eyebrow, taking a step forward. He ran off without another word.

Perhaps there were people in this house that understand her.

I suddenly feel a hand take mine, intertwining our fingers together. I turn, already knowing who it is. Alina's eyes are such a comforting sight.

"Sorry it took me so long." Her voice is soft, and she sounds tired, but her eyes are that familiar ocean of ice, with that beautiful gleam like a star.

I think there'd be a lot more if they could only see what I do.


	8. Please

**This is definitely a shorter chapter than usual, but it's also a setup for the last chapter of this fan fiction, which is soon to come! **

* * *

><p>As the last few weeks of her life came to an all too quick close- I felt myself breaking- physically and mentally. I was deteriorating.<p>

And she knew.

She could tell why I was so uneasy with everything- why I often lapsed into a heavy sorrow filled silence with every pause in conversation, why I would touch her face so gently without even thinking about it or having reason to.

She knew.

Alina was living in my hurt- in my selfish, inconsiderate, ruining spite and anger at fate. And she would selflessly try to comfort me in moments just like now.

We were both sitting down next to each other, her hip and shoulder against mine, head rested on my shoulder, on the very bench that I had first seen her sitting on. And now- rather than feeling the excitement and curiosity of a new beginning- I felt the weight of everything I lived for coming to a close.

"BB?"

Her voice was like satin and silk- smooth and soft and comfortable. I couldn't understand why.

"Alina…" I trailed off into nothingness. I wanted to stop her- I didn't want her to have to comfort me anymore. Most of all I wanted to apologize. For what, I really wasn't sure.

But this time- she didn't say anything more.

I looked up at the clear blue sky- the first sign of a beautiful spring- and then I turned and looked at her.

Despite the fact that the sunlight shone brightly on her skin- she looked grey as the past winter. It was as if it hadn't left- even her eyes that reflected sunlight like the ocean seemed bleak and dull. I hesitantly reached up and ran my fingers up the side of her cheek, and she looked at me.

"Please."

It was the first time I had ever heard her ask for something from me. And though she didn't really ask in words, I read everything on her face.

She was asking me to let her go.

At that moment, my heart crumbled into dust. Because no matter how much she wanted that- it couldn't ever happen. I couldn't let this blue eyed girl leave me. I couldn't let _my _blue eyed girl leave me. And seeing this, she stood up, kissed my lips just once, and walked away. I couldn't follow- and she knew that. She knew I couldn't handle being beside her anymore without saying it- saying goodbye.

Because today was February the twenty eighth of the year nineteen hundred and ninety two.

And tomorrow was the twenty-ninth, a leap year, and the day she was set to die.


	9. Thump

Dead.

Alina was dead.

I can hear it from here as I'm trying to shove all my things into this canvas bag I stole out of one of the kid's rooms.

It's the sound of the dirt hitting her coffin- the steady thump of every shovel full being thrown on her like they're burying a dog.

In reality- there's no way I can hear it. I try to rationalize that in my mind, turning around the thought over and over, trying to make sense of it. There's no way I can hear it. She's being buried at least a mile away. But there's still that sound…

_Thump. Thump. Thump. _

It's like a clock. It's a rhythm. Like a song in my mind- a picture comes to thought.

It's Alina's body hanging from the rafters in front of the window we used to sit in front of. She's limp, her blue eyes once bright now dead dull grey. Her body swings in time with the thumping.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

It's how I found her the night before- at midnight on the dot. She looked like a doll- but there, in that coffin, I'm sure she looks stiff. I'm sure she looks like straw.

Like a wara ningyo.

For a moment the room's spinning, and as I put the last item in the bag I hesitate, looking out the window of my room. The thumping is louder. Too loud. I can feel it now, the sound resonating in my chest, in time with my heart. I have to get out of here. I have to run. I can't stop hearing the sound- I can't stop seeing her body- the grey of her eyes. I feel myself move, throwing the bag over my shoulder, every step in time with the sound.

_Thump. Thump. Thump. _

They're almost finished. She's almost gone forever.

I'm almost gone too.

Every step gets longer- every step takes away a part of me.

Every step makes me hate where I am even more- replaces the feelings of contentedness I once had here. I hate Wammy's house... and as I pass through the gate onto the streets filled with people and their name's and death dates, I realize that I hate something else.

L.

I smirk faintly, stepping out onto the street, an unadulterated hatred pouring from out of me- spreading into my aura. A few people I pass up on the streets physically cringe at the feeling I give them as I pass by.

I hate L.

I feel my body tense with frustration, anger- hate.

He did this to her.

Alina is dead because of him.

I feel my mind twisting in on itself- the small fragments of who I used to be becoming fuzzy and dark. I see Watari standing above A at her desk screaming at her. I see Roger box her ears. I watch L smirk from the shadows.

And then the hate spreads from just my memories to everyone around me- to the world.

If only I could watch the death of the world around me. Just like I had to watch the world kill her.

_Thump. Thump. Thump. _

It's in time with my heart now. I tense again, starting to move away from the orphanage as quickly as I can, wanting to get the sound away. When I can't run anymore I hide in an alleyway and put my hands over my ears, begging myself to make it stop. It starts to increase in tempo as my heart beat speeds up. I writhe, trying to find a way out.

And then I see it.

It's so clear- so pristine and beautiful. I see crimson. Bright, violent, passionate crimson. I hear screams.

I smile.

It's so beautiful, I begin to laugh. Not that soft, child-like laugh I used in front of Alina. I laugh like a shinigami.

* * *

><p>I love it. I love the red, I love the echoing screams. I love the hate.<p>

I hear a whisper, so quiet I can barely hear it.

_BB... _

It's so soft. So familiar.

_BB…..._

Another splatter of crimson- another whisper.

_BB…._

And then I see her face. She's so very alive with the red around her.

My beautiful Alina. The red contrasts her eyes so beautifully. She smiles as I lift the blade again.

I finish my carving on Believe Bridesmaid's chest. I smile at my handy work. Alina starts to disappear, but I know I'll see her again when I kill Quarter Queen- the thirteen year old I've already chosen to be my next victim. I smirk to myself.

I want L to try and find me. I want him to fail.

Because when this is all over, I'll be gone. I'll be with my Alina again. And he'll be alone with the one case he'll never be able to solve. He'll never beat me. Because unlike him, hiding behind a fake name, I know what mine truly is. I know who I really am before he does.

BB.

And L is After BB.


End file.
